A small Tamalehawk has vivid memories of deli counters filled with stacks of cutlets, scallopinis, and chops, breaded and ready to be hastily heated and eaten. Now, since he's still recovering from chicken burnout, which is a real disease, the cutlet is among the formats which Tamalehawk is always down for. With a little practice, he'll even learn to make them without cross-contaminating every surface in his nest.
Which chicken shape is the best? Finger? Wings? Drumstick? Nugget? Cast an imaginary ballot in your head. Tally them using your favorite method. Tender is a contender. Tucked tight beneath the oafish breast, the tender is exactly that; everything the breast longs to be but fails at. If you said wing, Tamalehawk will now hear your argument. Strictly Buffalo style? He once roasted a whole chicken upside-down by accident and that seem to work well, deploying a lot of the juice to the breast where it's needed, and flipping it over near the end to crisp the skin though. And the subcutaneous butter pats...man. It seems like Tamalehawk might pull through after all.
Please, never mention cross-contamination again. I want this blog to exist in a world free from the threat of malevolent microbes bent on the destruction of our lower gastro-intestinal tracts, like a culinary Eden before the Fall. (In this belabored metaphor, the snake is portrayed by botulism.)
ReplyDeleteAlso, this metaphor was trying to cast Jon Voigt as The Apple, but had to settle for Jon Lovitz.
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