Sunday, January 27, 2008
Let Tamalehawk break down some basic nacho regulations. As you know, nachos are a year-round snack, with a peak season that runs from April to August, when outdoor dining is a more viable option. While there is no official governing body to enforce and review these rules, Tamalehawk likes to think that after serious soul-searching you can determine whether you are the Nachosen One.
First, there shall be no nacho-eating in a movie theater. The distracting crunch is a major infraction, punishable by chorus of shh-shing and barely-suppressed mutters of irritation. Movie-theater munching may be allowable in certain circumstances, such as when you're the only person in the theater, you own the theater, or it is an ironic showing of a Christopher Lambert movie. Next, sporting event nachos are permitted, as are pool-side nachos unless you are a lifeguard in which case gross. In all cases, the provided provisions must be observed: no ostentatious finger-licking, no cheese-to-seat contact, and no open-mouth chewing. When in Mexico, local nacho-chomping ordinances must be respected and upheld.