Rediscovery

Tamalehawk has long subscribed to the adage "Can in the pantry, app in your cap." It's a little esoteric, sure, popular in a bygone era when people served appetizers in the family cap and you were just thankful that you had a family cap to eat out of. These days, the percipient pith persists: If you have something edible in your pantry, there's a decent chance you can fry and eat it.

These little canned artichokes sat like silent sentinels, waiting and wading in pervading marinade until called into action as an emergency appetizer for guests. Drain, dry, dredge in some seasoned flour, and dutifully dunk into a bubbling bath of oil, salt and serve, and in mere moments you've shambled from shame to salvation. Also works with chickpeas to make adorable crunchy pellets that you'll eventually just eat with a spoon. Lemon squeeze on either is both mandatory and optional.

Dark Matter

Some thief crept into Tamalehawk's dreams and with precarious precision pulled forth the most ambrosial frozen opus in recent memory. The Hawk household had to freeze federal funding for fear of spraining some kind of critical gland.

The Mission to Marzipan may be mottled with manifold mysteries, but from takeoff to landing it delivers, especially when your spoon uncovers a crater of velvety almond ore. It's enough to make you smash the dash of your spacecraft and let the signal from headquarters echo out endlessly, or at least travel to two different 7-11's in search of it. Which happened.

The Pangs

Daily has Tamalehawk chastened himself for the fact that the tractate lay slacked and half-redacted. Meals long inspected, digested, and reflected, eaten one-handed standing, forever braising in the maze of his brain.

A prisoner to his hunger, Tamalehawk does manage to carve out a few stolen moments for minor innovations, such as this is amaretto cookie cut and slathered with Nutella and apricot-orange preserves. The result is a kind of miniature dessert sloppy joe, a tiny delight the likes of which was way worth it despite elaborate schematics and tenuous structural integrity.