Thursday, August 23, 2007

Silent Triumph

Don't call them guilty pleasures. Tamalehawk never weathers a pang when coddling a popper twixt his feathertips. If they are on a menu, they are being considered. They are finalists in the menu selection playoffs. Like chicken fingers, jalpops belong to that rare genre of food that may even be better off as a frozen item. Tamalehawk wishes he had Unilever's recipe for these ubiquitous pepper pellets. Cream cheese or cheddar, or the combo if you're savvy, it sits high above the onion ring and is secretly superior to even the French fry in terms of pure flavor, style, and innovation. He isn't even going to qualify that.

Speaking of competitions, Tamalehawk recently confirmed that Full Shilling is better than Yakzies in the all-important Mediocre But Affordable And Convenient Sports Bar With Plenty Of TVs category. Granted, Yazkies has those sweet, giant round tables and is pretty much always hilariously empty, but Full Shilling has an insane pot roast sandwich for some reason. And crinkle fries. And it's cheaper. Weird but true. Don't get him wrong, Full Shilling feels like a strange fit, and the half of the bar you enter on is super gross and cramped, but in many of the areas that matter, it might be your best bet when the game is about to start and you're tired of no one making a stupid decision already.

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